Rank me with whom thou wilt...

Twice in the past week, I was able to attend a very strict Wesleyan liturgical worship service and each time, this one prayer just struck deep in my heart and remained with me throughout the rest of the night. It just really hit home the concept of laying my life in the hands and will of God. Part of the prayer went like this:

Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt;
Put me to doing, put me to suffering;
let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee;
let me be full, let me be empty;
let me have all things, let me have nothing;
I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-
Thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in Heaven.

That's a powerful prayer. In the past few weeks, I've really been stuggling with my faith. God is trying to teach me something and he wants me to work harder than I have ever had to before. It's a feeling that's new to me... It's a very lonely and frightening feeling. But I also know that if I survive this, there is something huge waiting for me. In this prayer, God taught me what it means to give myself wholly for God. I always thought that giving myself wholly to God means that I am willing to go anywhere and do anything no matter how great it is. But what it also means is that I have to be willing to do anything no matter how small it is. "Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee." If I am not of use to Him, I have to be willing to be laid aside so that his desires will be fulfilled.

It's a very humbling thought. One that I'm struggling with. But it's something that I doubt many Christians realize is part of the committment that they've made.

Please be in prayer for me.